Arts & Entertainment

Best unusual performance space

It's a tribute to artistic director Sandra Buckley's ingenuity in transforming a resolutely non-theatrical environment that actors and audiences have adapted so easily to it. As you walk into the Masque Theatre, located in an old downtown community hall in Milford, you see a long ribbon of stage along the right wall, which Buckley likes to divide up into adjacent settings like the dyptych scenes on Medieval cycle-play wagons. The actors climb up in the dark and scurry into place, since there's no backstage area to speak of; in last December's enchanting Amahl and the Night Visitors, the chorus strolled nonchalantly through the audience to reach the stage. (The informality of the staging didn't appear to bother the singers, who performed beautifully.) We always prefer to sit at the far side of the hall, next to the bookshelves, which provide an extra level of diversion during intermission.

Masque Theatre, Memorial Hall Cultural Center, 30 School Street, Milford, 478-7044.

Best cue & ale session

Although there are enough pool halls to shake a stick at, there's nothing better than frequenting the neighborhood establishment. And that's one reason we picked Moynihan's, where you play pool the old-fashioned way -- put your quarters up, call winners, and wait your turn, and then have a seat when you lose. But even losing is fine because Moynie's, with Keno, video poker, a decent jukebox, a Guns & Roses pinball machine, scratch tickets, a dozen TVs, and a kitchen, is essentially a Chuck E Cheese's for adults with bad habits. The beer selection is tremendous (16 on tap, 40 different bottles) and drinks are dirt cheap; and for a little under two bucks you can get a pretty terrific hamburger. There's also the added attraction of a mix of neighborhood patrons and the Clark crowd, and they coexist quite nicely, thank you. Besides the day job of local writer/film buff Nic Karcasinas, Moynihan's boasts Louie Latino, who pulls duty three nights a week. Gruff and crotchety to new folk, as all good neighborhood bartenders should be, Louie is actually a pussycat with a heart of gold, and one of our all-time faves.

Moynihan's, 897 Main Street, Worcester, top-secret phone number

Best real-guy bar

Actually, a majority of bars are tailored to men, and it's a concept a lot of the non-guy sex doesn't fully understand. There's something special about hanging around some smoke-filled dive, drinking drafts, watching TV, and chatting with the lads. It's the guy equivalent of going to lunch with your girlfriends, only with pickled eggs. And what makes a guy bar, a real guy bar, is character. So that automatically excludes all sports bars (too testosterone-laden and loud) and college hangouts (too moron-inclined). No, you must go deeper to the small neighborhood joint -- where draft beer is king, the pretzels are possibly stale, and money is no object because nothing costs more than four bucks. Guertin's Cafe is our pick to hang loose and get in touch with your guyness. Worcester's oldest gin mill, Guertin's is loaded with beautiful and intricate lattice-work, a pressed-tin ceiling, ornate light fixtures, and tons of stained glass. As a matter of fact, the glass behind the bar strongly resembles male anatomy fairly accurately, thus subliminally reinforcing your newly-reclaimed self. The only negatives to this lovely joint are beer companies have been allowed to hang up their tacky-ass banners and signs, and that takes away from the city's otherwise best-looking bar. Guertin's also scores high bonus points for great wooden booths (the type in which you'd be proud to have your body found after being bumped off) and a trough-style urinal. Extra points for having Michael Madson's television show, Avenging Justice, on instead of sports. After all, Madson is a man's man, just like you. He'd probably buy a round.

Guertin's, 139 Grand Street, Worcester, 753-9828

Best higher art education

Under the Goddard Library on the campus of Clark University sits the unimaginatively named University Gallery. This bright little room with glass walls on two sides has been the temporary home to many imaginative exhibitions. Coordinated by artist-in-residence Sarah Walker, the space is operated primarily as a training ground for students who wish to become involved in gallery management. (One graduate is now the director of sales for the Guggenheim Museums.) Because the gallery is student-operated, it tends to take more chances than a commercial gallery. In the recent past they have mounted offbeat exhibits like a group show of environmentally friendly graphic designs and "Small and Sorry," which featured artists who saw art in others' cast-offs, and "Dressing" which featured Leslie Wilcox's floor-to-ceiling wire mesh dresses and Victoria Ralston's dress-like fabric installations -- big enough to walk inside. Compared to other college galleries this is high energy.

University Gallery at Clark University, Downing Street, Worcester, 793-7113

Best production after the production

The official opening performances at Worcester Foothills always occur on Sundays, and the entire audience is invited to celebrate afterwards at buffet tables covered with hors d'oeuvres, which are sometimes thematically linked to the current production. Considering the schedule changes monthly at Foothills, the company's willingness to host a party every time out strikes us as unusually generous. And while we're in an epicurean vein, Foothills also offers the best concession stand of any local playhouse. It boasts a cappuccino dispenser -- imitation cappuccino, yes, but that's a lot more than most theaters stock -- and two or three different cakes that look more tempting than any other desserts north of Caffe Dolce. (One of them is invariably some drop-dead chocolate concoction.)

Worcester Foothills Theatre, 110 Front Street, Worcester, 754-4018

Best place to feel young again

There's a downtown lunchtime tradition that doesn't involve eating. Every afternoon, as the clock strikes 12, lawyers and banktellers, office workers, and a few students make the pinball pilgrimage to Pee Wee's Arcade. Fanatics "crawl" through graveyards, swamps, and mansions of the "Addams Family" (movie version), get tossed into "Star Trek: The Next Generation," and are blown away trying to reach a million points playing "Lethal Weapon 3," and weekend bikers hop aboard one of four sets of "Daytona USA Manx TT Superbikes" ("reproducing every detail of the world's most renowned, traditional racing"), while NFL fans replay the weekend's games with "Blitz." There are throttle-controlled combat fighting games, including "Vampire Savior: World of Darkness," "Mortal Kombat 4," "Die Hard Arcade," and "Viper Phase 1," which allows you to bomb, laser beam, napalm, or shoot Vulcan bullets at enemy forces. Believe us, your day will feel 10 times better after you've blown away a few dozen terrorists in Times Square and Midtown Manhattan, although our sincere condolences go out to the families of the deceased at the United Nations -- we ran out of tokens before we could finish the job!

Pee Wee's Arcade, 30 Front Street, Worcester, 755-2871

Best person to give directions

Tom Ouellette, Brian Tivnan, Steve Braddock, and others have put up handsome productions, but the local director whose work we watch out for is Doug Ingalls. Ingalls has a long-term connection with Barre Players, where his staging of The Diary of Anne Frank, a few seasons back, both manipulated the flat, squarish space superbly -- the set, which he designed himself, contained five discrete playing areas -- and brought life to a flat, squarish script. (He also played Otto Frank, very skillfully.) However, he spreads himself around: we saw a spirited mounting he did of Guys and Dolls with the Wachusett Summer Theatre two years ago (he now teaches at Wachusett Regional High, in the same space), and he was in charge of Stageloft's production of Neil Simon's Laughter on the 23rd Floor. Ingalls has a fine eye and -- most important, in our estimation -- he clearly knows how to talk to actors, apparently of all ages.

Best ear ring

If Spinal Tap had their amps special built to hit 11, then Preston Wayne must be hovering somewhere around 13. For the better part of 20 years (with Hooker, the Odds, Time Beings and now, Preston Wayne 4) the "King of the Wammy Bar" has been fragging amps and rattling the chests of local clubgoers. If Wormtown kids weren't listening to what their parents had to say, it's probably because the folks weren't speaking loud enough. Preston is also proof-positive to the scientific theory that women prefer bass, men treble, cause when ol' Presto cranks up, chicks run like someone just announced the semi-annual Macy's wedding-dress sale. If you can get beyond the sonic bluster, you'll find a world-class guitarist who coaxes a sound out of his Fender strat that is unmatched by anyone. An ungodly amalgam of Dick Dale, Jimi Hendrix, and James Williamson, he can make a three-chord punker sound psychedelic with a flick of his wrist.

Best place to hang out

When John and Billy Maywalt took over the Tammany Club in 1995, they had one intention -- make the room, and downtown as a whole, a desirable destination once again. "When we opened, there wasn't a place you could go after work to have a beer, hear a nice guitar player, and eat at a buffet," recalls John Maywalt. They welcomed charitable institutions and non-commercial radio stations to hold fundraising events and threw huge buffets to attract people (they still do so every Friday afternoon from 5 to 8 p.m.). They serve food from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. And in a move of marketing genius, Maywalt began booking bands from the growing groove circuit. "I like the jam bands [Slipknot, Another Planet, and Foxtrot Zulu are his favorites] and tribute bands -- if they're good, and most of the ones we have are." The room now features music six nights a week. Hooking up with the Wormtown Trading Company was a big plus for both businesses. "We complement each other like two peas in a pod. He caters to college campuses, so do I. Mark [Blanchette, Wormtown's owner] is a huge asset at the club. He runs his own festivals at the end of each month and brings in his own bands." Maywalt also sets up a table at outdoor concerts like the Fox and Coon Festival. "We try to give something back to the people who support us at the club by giving them free coffee and doughnuts and put up a huge banner thanking them for their support." The efforts have paid off.

Tammany Club, 43 Pleasant Street, Worcester, 791-6550

Best proof that it's all about the kids

Forum's Brian Tivnan conducted local theater's most noble experiment last year when he initiated Theatreworks, which trains young people from Worcester's neighborhoods over the winter and mixes them with pros in the summer, in full-scale musicals. Forum has yet to figure out the right balance in these shows (so far the company has produced West Side Story and Guys and Dolls) -- they're not quite professional yet they aim to be more than community theater. But Theatreworks unquestionably performs an invaluable service to the youth of the community. Meanwhile, out in Gardner, Theatre at the Mount not only programs summer workshops for kids but actively involves kids in most of its musicals. We've seen members of the Runaways ensemble in other shows like Bye Bye Birdie and Meet Me in St. Louis and Annie Warbucks, where they sometimes perform alongside their parents. Young performers don't merely influence the casting policies of the company; their presence clearly informs the play selection.

Theaterworks, 6 Chatham Street, Worcester, 799-9166 Theatre at the Mount, Mount Wachusett Community College, 444 Green Street, Gardner, (978) 632-2403

Best script sleuths

If you care about musicals, you may have discovered the Goodspeed Opera House in East Haddam, Connecticut, for yourself. Every year, in its gorgeous, curlicued old house at the water's edge, the Goodspeed mounts three shows -- one original piece (which may have been workshopped in its second theater in Chester) and two revivals, often of musicals left unattended for decades. The quality of these refurbished productions is consistently high, and where else can you see fully mounted editions of Paint Your Wagon, It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Superman!, Strike Up the Band, Can-Can, and Redhead? The Goodspeed is an enduring cultural treasure. And allow us to extend some credit as well to Wayland's Vokes Theatre, which resurrects some forgotten American or English piece almost every season. In a better world than this, every company would have a literary manager on hand whose job it was to unearth worthwhile plays that no one has ever heard of. Familiarity shouldn't be the only criterion for assembling a season.

Goodspeed Opera House, Rte. 82, East Haddam, Connecticut, (860) 873-8668

Best opening to go to on an empty stomach

The Worcester Art Museum is well known for its permanent collection of more than 50,000 art objects spanning 5000 years of history. WAM also hosts provocative temporary shows such as its current contemporary exhibit, "Blurring The Boundaries: 25 Years of Installation Art." But did you know that it is also a great place to enjoy stuffed mushrooms? WAM galas, held at the openings of larger shows, have acquired a only-miss-if-you're-out-of-town reputation -- considered the place to be seen by Worcester's social set. And it wouldn't be a party without scallops wrapped in bacon strips, tiny triangular spinach pies, and savory stuffed mushrooms -- a point that hasn't been lost on WAM curators. Trust us, there's no better way to see Mary Cassatt's masterpieces than over smoked salmon.

Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury Street, Worcester, 799-4406

Best views off the beaten path

About 25 minutes from downtown Worcester, the Douglas Arts Common, a co-op located in a 19th-century white house on Main Street, has showcased area artists' contemporary works for just over a year. Recent exhibits have included abstract oil pastels and glass sculpture, watercolor still lifes, organic sculpture carved in stone, expressionist photography, and abstract sculpture in cement and steel. Many galleries have stayed away from three-dimensional work; it's heavy and fragile. But Douglas dove right in, taking chances on artists who don't have name recognition or those working in different mediums. We salute Douglas's risks.

Douglas Arts Common, Route 16, Main Street, Douglas, 476-7082

Best views near the beaten path

For five years Terri Priest has run the Fletcher/Priest Gallery out of her home. During that time, Priest, an artist of considerable talent and renown herself, has sought to showcase some of the nation's finest artists in an intimate setting. She has presented prints by NYC's Red Grooms, Jim Dine, and California/Chicago artist Ron Davis. Priest's other goal is to present the best of what is out there. To this end she has had several showings of photography by Worcester's Stephen DiRado (his "Beach People" and his "Comet" series in particular), along with Spencer artist Barbara Putnam's bold woodcuts, John O'Reilly's introspective Polaroid photomontages, and Maria Muller's provocative hand-painted photos. Just closed is a show of Maryland artist Howie Lee Weiss's energetic charcoal drawings. Support the arts, stop by Fletcher/Priest and broaden your horizons.

Fletcher/Priest Gallery, 5 Pratt Street, Worcester, 791-5929

Best knight life

Think you're Goth? Well, it's time to make a return trip to Higgins Armory Museum, where you'll be surrounded by heavy metal from ancient Greece to the middle ages and beyond. Founded in 1931 by John Woodman Higgins, a wealthy steel-factory owner, Higgins Armory has atmosphere to spare. The exterior is modern, all steel and glass, but the inside is crafted to resemble a European castle. Stained glass, tapestries, and exotic weapons adorn the walls. Suits of armor from various countries and eons stand ready for battle. There are even suits of armor specifically crafted for horses and dogs. Adults can try on helmets in the classroom, and children can become ladies or knights for some of Worcester's best photo opportunities. You can celebrate your child's birthday there, or rent the place out for a function or wedding. Maybe you can even talk the groom into wearing an 85-pound suit of armor.

Higgins Armory Museum, 100 Barber Avenue, Worcester, 853-6015

Best place picnic with the masters

Just off Route 2 in Lincoln, the majestic DeCordova Museum and Sculpture Park overlook the placid Flint's Pond. Open year round, 35 acres of tree-filled slopes act as a backdrop for more than 60 large-scale contemporary sculptures. Bring Stilton cheese and grapes or purchase a salad and sandwich from the new Cafe DeCordova; park yourself on a bench or on the grass and commune with George Greenameyer's welded steel Mass Art Vehicle or Konstantin Simun's Totem America made of non-biodegradable but colorful, plastic containers. You can even take a twig and play a tune on Paul Matisse's aluminum rod The Musical Fence. The museum has an annotated map available to help you find all of the sculptures hidden about the property.

DeCordova Museum and Sculpture Park, Sandy Pond Road, Lincoln, (781) 259-8355

Best place to see artists emerge

Charles Calvin Lowell set up the area's first art supply store in 1852. In 1996, C. C. Lowell owner Bill Cavanagh set aside a portion of his new Park Avenue shop as a showplace for emerging artists. With the help of First Show Gallery curator Karen Davis, artists can arrange to have their first one-person exhibition in a professional setting, complete with an opening reception. Ghanaian painter Benjamin Adwetewa-Badu and Chinese ink painter Zhang Xiaodong had their first United States one-person shows here and have gone on to greater things. Guinvere Ficara recently showed her brightly colored silk paintings, and Joe Powers offered his photographs of Worcester firefighters. The shows stay up for just two weeks, so you've got to hurry if you want to get a look. This gallery has created a buzz with art lovers, but the real benefit goes to the artists. C. C. Lowell charges no fees or commissions and is eager to jump-start people's careers by showing their work.

C.C. Lowell, 258 Park Avenue, Worcester, 757-7713

Best show of the year

Worcester Art Museum's "Master Drawings: 700 Years of Inspiration," held from April through June of this year, was a masterpiece in itself. Curator David Acton spent nearly eight years bringing this exhibition to fruition. When he was done, visitors were able to feast their eyes upon 100 of history's finest examples of this intimate artistic activity. Originals by Gauguin and Van Gogh were shown with works by Vasari and Rembrandt. Homer and Sargent shared wall space with Wesselmann and Hockney. It was truly a walk through history, both art history and human history.

Best day for your recyclables to be collected

We all know the pain of having to get up extra early to get our yellow bags and plastic bucket to the curb. But if you happen to be the lucky folk who drew Wednesday, you at least get to tune in to Bill LeBeau's installment of Cross Tracks on WCUW (91.3 FM), from 6 to 9 a.m. LeBeau is an oasis of taste in an otherwise barren landscape; full of piss and vinegar and with a killer record collection, he lays down the bossest sounds -- classic rockabilly, little-known soul artists, forgotten Western swing, obscure instrumentals, beat music from Germany, garage rock from New Zealand, narcissistic celebrities committing assault and battery on popular standards, and anything else that's either very cool or truly fucked up. Unlike most non-commercial voices that generally recall that dead painter guy from PBS, LeBeau is nasal, self-deprecating, and seemingly awake, and unlike commercial deejays, he actually knows what he's talking about.

Listener request line at WCUW (91.3 FM) is 753-2284

Best room to revive the glory days

It must be a tough job trying to capture the city's history. But Worcester Historical Museum's "In Their Shirt Sleeves . . .," a new permanent exhibition of Worcester's manufacturing history, manages to tie it all into a "did you know?" package. A gorgeous 1850s-era cornet made by Issac Fiske at the Merrifield Shops is displayed alongside Frank Wesson's breech-loaded rifle, patented in 1862 (does that make us the birthplace of the NRA?), rat traps, and ice skates. Corsets from the Royal Worcester Corset Company, championship trophies from the Norton Athletic Association's Triangle Industrial Basketball League, and the Roy Toy Company's "New Thrill-Finding, Gloom Killing Game Sensation" help us understand a time when Worcester attracted a consumer's eye from around the nation. How does this all play in the minds of a generation weaned on MTV, the Internet, and video games? What do you think we'll be leaving for WHM to display years from now? We'd start by hoping they acquire the gold record WORC's Dick Smith received for being the first to play the Beatles on the radio in America. Another Worcester first!

Worcester Historical Museum, 30 Elm Street, Worcester, 753-8278

Best longtime area artist

Leon Hovsepian retired from teaching art after 40 years at the Worcester Art Museum, Clark University, and the Bancroft School. During that time he painted two famous and somewhat controversial murals here. The first was for the Aurora Hotel, at the corner of Main and Chandler. In the 1930s it was the city's swankiest place with a fine restaurant and cocktail lounge -- the two rooms where Hovsepian's murals were mounted. Leaning toward abstraction, the images depicted the two natures of man -- animal and human. Several years ago when the hotel was slated for demolition (which didn't happen) someone took the large canvases down and spirited them away. Hovsepian's other mural was a 20-foot work installed in the now defunct Bancroft Hotel, which depicted George Bancroft's life. When the red brick structure on Franklin Street was converted to condos and offices, Hovsepian retrieved the mural intending to give it to the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, of which Bancroft was one of the founders. Because clear title has never been fully established, the work has yet to find its place in the Nimitz Museum. As a teacher, Hovsepian experimented with every known and new artist material. Today he is still working in tempera, oils, watercolor, encaustic, acrylic, and anything else that comes along. He allows his style and subject matter to vary with each medium and says that the message or idea presented is the only thing that matters. He is currently preparing for an exhibition at the UMass Medical Center for early next year.

Best imitation of an acid flashback

You can say what you want about the lads from Woodgrain Theory -- they certainly know how to make a name for themselves what with their aggressive "marketing plan" and their battles, both real (Newbury Comics) and imagined (Church of Latter-Day Saints). And nobody makes a bigger impact than frontman Steven Gaffney. With a fashion sense that's a cross between '80s new wave and a parochial school uniform and with an attitude that says anything goes, Gaffney is Wormtown's most charismatic cat since the legendary Artie Schneiderman was radiating cocktail-cool 15 years before it was stylish again. Gaffney has also learned the first lesson of hipdom -- you must sacrifice comfort for style and remain in costume when in the public eye. Beyond that, he's a bag of tricks that leaves you wondering who spiked the punch. Moaning, groaning, panting, growling, wrestling the inner demon right there on stage, and then tossing off a smart-ass comment when the song is done, Gaffney is equal parts intensity and laugh riot. And that equals 100 percent entertainer, baby!

Best gallery that isn't a gallery

You could say one wall is intentional. At the Java Hut, everything is art, from the menu, the signs, the haphazard collection of stuff, to the innocent-enough proclamation posted above the stage: "All kinds of music played here." This spoken-word gathering place/coffeehouse is one of the most satisfying places to go and space out. Why not? There's a lot of cool shit to look at on the walls: Bob Dylan's The Times They Are a-Changin' album, the Java Hut's Hall of Fame (currently saluting old friends like James Dean, the Who, Beatles, Frank, Dean, and Sammy), along with a few newcomers who've pasted their pictures alongside them -- Jess Klein, Too Human, and Jack and Present Co. The opposite wall officially serves as the room's art gallery, currently showcasing "Art by Brian," portraits of pets, Jesus, country homes, and friendly faces. "Psychoblast," a 32-ounce extreme caffeine-filled drink -- eight shots of espresso, sumatra ice cream, orani chocolate, vanilla, Krank20, and crushed choco-covered espresso beans -- is advertised with a wired drinker who resembles Bill MacMillan, host of the Sunday and Monday poetry mics. Want more art? The flavored espresso specialty drinks, especially the "Savory Mocha Naval," "Mystical Milky Way," "Chunky Monkey Madness," and "Sugar Daddy Delight," guarantee you'll be able to close your eyes and see a multi-colored exhibition dancing on the inside of your eyelids.

Java Hut, 1073A Main Street, Worcester, 752-1678

Best person to set the stage

Rob Houle, who directed and choreographed Runaways at Theatre at the Mount gets our pick as best theater choreographer. Most of the time, however, Houle settles for just staging the dance numbers in shows at the Mount -- or dancing himself. (He was entirely winning as Lon Jr. in the "Banjos" number in Meet Me in St. Louis.) Houle's modesty shifts the focus of his work off his own skills and onto those of the performers, but you can't make 27 young people look great in number after number, as he did in Runaways, unless you're a fine craftsman as well as a superb teacher. Two and a half years later, we retain a sharp memory of "Enterprise," the dance highlight of the show.

Best communal gathering

The old Stageloft space in Sturbridge, above a restaurant, had a sweet, woody smell; and we loved the fact that you had to duck at the top of the stairs as you moved around into the house. It made us feel like we were entering an insulated little world. (We haven't yet seen Stageloft's new venue.) Even cozier is Worcester County Light Opera's home on Grand View Avenue. It looks like a dormitory from the outside but its interior appears to be modeled after those barns Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland were always refurbishing to produce plays in -- only far more intimate. The space certainly has its limitations: the audience isn't raked (that's why you're always encouraged to arrive early for the best seating) and, like Masque's, the playing area is absolutely rectangular, which makes creative staging a challenge. But you can't attend a show here without sensing you're part of a community -- a feeling that's enhanced by the un-self-aggrandizing high spirits of the company.

Worcester County Light Opera, 21 Grand View Avenue, Worcester, 753-4383

Best place to hear the sounds that inspired Wormtown

"I've been here 15 years -- in fact, I started my punk-rock career here and at Exit 13," says Rich "Foghorn" Harnois, who recently performed with the re-formed Aggressions at the Wormtown 20th anniversary bash and tends bar at Ralph's, the Moberlys' legendary nightclub. There are few ways we can think of to get the perfect start to the weekend than devouring one of his burgers or a bowl of Ralph's chili. Though most of his fellow clubgoers have moved on, "Foggie" (as Ralph himself affectionately calls him) remains true to the room that gave him a chance to strut his musical stuff. "I'm all old-school. I'm still stuck on the Pistols, Dead Boys, and the Clash," he says, inserting the latter's debut album into the CD player. "There's some Lenny Kravitz, but I'm still in the early '80s. People like it. We're putting Fear in the jukebox because people have asked for it." Good times never get old.

Ralph's Diner, 95 Prescott Street, Worcester, 753-9543.

Best excuse to start your own band

Nobody says do-it-yourself (or on-the-job training) quite like those suburban nightmares the Pathetics. Having been around for the better part of a year, these guys still sound as fresh as if it were their first practice, literally. Dedicated to numbskullery and totally in-tune with the rock-and-roll vibe of knuckleheadism, this trio have thrilled dozens with their no-brow take on life. Old first-wave punkers playing a young-man's game, their total lack of substance and technical proficiency borders on sheer genius, and that's why they are our poster boys for anyone who wants to start a band. Can't master the guitar? Neither can they! Don't really have a singing voice? Ditto! And don't worry about ideas for your own material. The Pathetics have proven that three chords, alcohol, and cable television can go an long way on a set list. We've all dreamed about being on stage, drenched in sweat, rockin' the adoring multitude. From air guitaring in the mirror to singing in the shower, we've all got a little star in us. And now the Pathetics give us a reason to try harder.

Best use of no space

Two seasons ago Worcester Forum's lease on the roomy, flexible space it occupied downtown in the Performing Arts Center ran out, and the company is still in search of new digs. Without a place to hang its hat, Forum has had to put its regular season on hold (it will, however, produce A Christmas Carol at Clark University in December). At the same time, its summer season relocated from Green Hill Park to East Park on Shrewsbury Street, which is considerably noisier and far less congenial to a transporting theatrical experience. Those July and August outings in Green Hill Park were sometimes magical: when the Jews of Anatevka trekked up the grassy incline at the end of Fiddler on the Roof, the stars seemed very close, and the audience got up slowly afterwards, as if we had to shake off a dream before wending our way down to our cars. Forum deserves to perform in a congenial space like this one; it deserves its own home.

Worcester Forum Theatre, 6 Chatham Street, Worcester, 799-9166

Best reason to start drinking

The thing about heartbreak music -- blues, country, or even some crummy Eric Carman tune -- is that the subject matter (the wife leaving town with the mailman, the dog dying, the wreck of the Old 97) can get pretty redundant, especially in the hands of a hack. Which is why we'll take Jim Weeks for delivering a tune that will make you wanna curl-up in your bottle. Currently scratching out a living as the frontman for alt-roots hot-shots, Little Big Wheel, and performing solo to pay the rent, Weeks, with his too-many-cigarettes-and-whiskey voice, is a lightning rod of emotion. It's one of those rare and special deliveries, much like middle-era Replacements' Paul Westerberg's, that makes you feel every syllable that's coming out of his mouth. Weeks also has a great range for the more uplifting stuff, but when he's in the gutter it's magic. You'll wanna crawl right down there with him.

Best place to leave the cell phone behind

The good old days weren't so good, as you can read in most history books, but there's something serene and beautiful about Old Sturbridge Village, an authentic recreation of an 1830s New England Village. There are a bank, a cider press, a meeting house, and a printing press. There are a tin shop, a law office (whose owner overcharged his customers, just like today), and a gift shop every 50 feet. The costumed "interpreters" are ready with interesting anecdotes, stories, and information about how hard life was back then. Seasonal festivals like Thanksgiving and Christmas are celebrated with an 1830s flavor. The children in those days were deprived indeed. Instead of Nintendo, they played with barrel hoops. Instead of soda, they drank cider. There's a lesson here somewhere, but most of the school children dragged through the museum each day probably miss it. For the adults, though, a day spent without a cell phone or a pager may just be what the doctor ordered.

Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Road, Sturbridge, 347-3362

Best pigeon perch

Even though there is a dearth of contemporary public artwork anywhere in Worcester, the city has many significant sculptures and monuments created during its 19th-century heyday. The biggest, most important, and often least noticed, is the Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument now dwarfed by the Worcester Common Outlets behind City Hall. Erected in 1874 as a memorial to Worcester's Civil War soldiers, this monument is a classic example of the heroic art of the period. Four large, well-patinaed bronze castings depict an infantryman, a sailor, a cannoneer, and a cavalryman. There is also a bas-relief plaque of Abraham Lincoln and another of then-governor John Andrews. Four large plaques list the names of 397 soldiers and one sailor who died for their country. The cannons at each corner (one is missing) are muzzle down into the ground to signify the call for no more war. The 66-foot tall Corinthian column is topped by a winged "Victory" holding a palm branch of peace in her other hand. The monument was designed by Randolph Roger, an American living in Rome, the bronzes were cast in Munich, and the granite was quarried in Rhode Island, all for a mere $50,000, which was $40,000 less than the original design -- a replica of Paris's Arc de Triomphe! Although most pedestrians see right through this historic pillar, the local pigeons love it.

Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument, Front Street, Worcester

Best place to read Marcello Mastroianni and Sophia Loren kiss

With the rise of massive movie complexes and with skyrocketing ticket prices, local film buffs should do themselves a favor and check out Clark University's Cinema 320. The room is sparse -- it's a classroom -- and the concession stand amounts to whatever lint or old mints you find in your pocket; but patrons don't come for greasy popcorn. They're here to see gorgeous films: new, old, subtitled, and documentaries. Cinema 320 offers them all.

Cinema 320, Clark University, Jefferson Academic Center, 950 Main Street, Worcester, 793-7477

Best reason to visit Main Street after sundown

It isn't easy making a go of it downtown, especially in the south Main Street area, and it's even harder after all the business drones commute home at five o'clock. So the fact that Gilrein's has lasted as long as it has speaks volumes about the club's reputation and about owners Robin Scott's and Barbara Haller's commitment to blues music. Regarded as a must-stop to touring national acts and revered as a mecca for both local musicians and fans of roots music, Gilrein's continues to bring in some of the world's top talent. Little Charlie and the Nightcats, Duke Robillard, Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys, and Dennis Brennan were all highlights of the past year, and the recent Tom Russell show rates as one of the finest ever. Gilrein's also improved its menu vastly -- ranging from burgers, veggie quesadillas, hummus, and pizza; there are also at least three daily blackboard specials and a soup of the day. The greatest contribution "Worcester's Home of the Blues" has made is to the local musicians, especially the youngsters -- J.B. and the Activators were allowed to develop with weekly slots and now host "Swing Night"; and Troy Gonyea has graduated from Thursday nights to touring the world with Sugar Ray Norcia. With a new and improved dance floor and currently anticipating live music seven nights a week, the best is yet to come from Gilrein's.

Gilrein's, 802 Main Street, Worcester, 791-2583

Best bowling ball

If Dennis Leary is our most visible celebrity and Abbie Hoffman our most famous, then Captain PJ must be our most talented. PJ has been a radio personality, carny, bike gang member, fry cook, music savant, unintentional spoken-word artist, writer, sage, band leader, mascot of the short-lived Baystate Bombardiers (suspended and reinstated for knocking a ref over), and "Human Bowling Ball" for Channel 27's since-canceled Big Shot Bowling. Known chiefly as the late-night voice of WCUW's Rockin' Revolution and as the scary, shirtless guy with the puppets, PJ is a true renaissance man. The Captain is part artist, part cheerleader, a little bit fruitcake, a lotta bit self-promotion, and pure rock and roll. Devoid of any vocal talent whatsoever, he is nonetheless captivating -- we are still unable to turn away when he croaks out yet another horrific tune with his band the Majestic Gizmos, clad -- in all his pasty glory -- in only a kilt. A conversation with PJ may include ranting about crack-addicted squirrels, old-time basketball, and Ham Ham the pig, and he has some illuminating things to say -- the rest could be, given the right combination of substances. PJ is currently working on his autobiography, as well as formulating a takeover of the music establishment.

Best way to make your rock-and-roll dreams come true

There was a time when a record-release party by anyone in these parts was a pretty big deal. Now technology has made it possible and affordable for everyone to cut some kind of product, especially CDs. Phoenix HQ is hit with all kinds of discs, ranging from unforgettably good to lousy, as every band under the sun seem to be getting in on the act. Which is where the kind folks of Mezzoman come in. Located at 100 Grove Street, right here in the Worm City, the Mezzoids have been providing A-1 service to the music industry in general and, more important, to local bands. Their basic package of 1000 CDs is a pretty good deal, but the one-up package that provides graphics, film, and color proofs is the one any smart band want because, not only would it cost more to do it yourself separately, Mezzoman's graphics department is top notch (you'd be amazed at how many crappy looking discs pass over our desks). Mezzoman also gets bonus points for walking every band, no matter how small, through the entire process as if they were VIPs. And we can't forget to tip our hats for their eagerness to give back to the community. Staff members have heart, they have soul, they're committed, and they give a damn -- virtues that aren't easy to find, especially in the music business.

Mezzoman Productions, 100 Grove Street, Worcester, 791-8470

Best artists co-op space

The Brush Artist Gallery is a shining example of what an artist co-op should look and act like. The polished hardwood floor in the spacious front gallery area is awash with natural light coming through large windows. A featured part of America's only urban national park, the gallery is currently showing a retrospective of master artist Sigmund Abeles's lush figurative paintings, drawings, prints, and sculpture. What really sets this place apart from most art co-ops are the dozen artists's studios, which are open to the public. Visitors can watch erstwhile watercolorist Vassilios Giavas at work on images of diners or of the streets of his beloved Lowell. Or they can see Dierdre Grunwald splash bright areas thick with paint as she works on her abstract canvases. The group also has a silk painter, a potter, a quiltmaker, and several photographers, whose works are all displayed in the brightly lit corridor that connects the studios.

Brush Artist Gallery, 256 Market Street, Lowell, (978) 459-7819

Best rock-and-roll club that doesn't have rock and roll

All the universally cool spots that chose to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on that crazy devil music generally started as something else. Cambridge's's venerable Cantone's was a place that flung pasta during the day, NYC institution CBGB's was a country-and-Western joint, and Wormtown's own legend, Circe's, started off as a restaurant. There's something special about seeing a show in a joint where you have to move tables in order to dance. With Ralph's heading in more diverse directions, Worcester has been left with no home for real rock and roll, so it's a matter of someone realizing the need and doing it. Our money is riding on the Above Club, the coolest spot in town nobody ever thinks of. Located above the Tai Cha Da on Park Avenue, the Above Club has everything it takes to be the perfect spot to host a little three-chord mayhem. Esthetically pleasing but not too special, nice low stage, great sound, second-hand smoke, an alcohol license, and a dance floor that will cramp-up real nice once the crowd gets fruggin'. Currently booking jazz, acoustic, and jam-oriented stuff, the Above Club is often overlooked as a place to check out, just as rock and roll is suffering from lack of exposure. It's a natural fit for two unappreciated gems. Let the record reflect our enthusiastic endorsement.

Above Club, 264 Park Avenue., Worcester, 752-2211

Best place to see tomorrow's stars today

Of all the venues in clubland that have really made the past year one of the best in memory, none has been able to catch the pulse of the underground scene better than the Espresso Bar. And many of our loyal readers missed it, if only because they operate on the other side of the club track -- the all-ages joint. And that's been your loss because Eric Spencer has been putting on some fantastic bills with bands who have either gone on to much bigger things, or will within the next few months. Sevendust, Dayinthelife, Vision of Disorder, Killgore Smudge (now just Killgore), the Amazing Royal Crowns (no longer Royal), Incubus, Godsmack, U.S. Bombs, and the Dropkick Murphys all passed through the E-Bar in the past year; and that's just the tip of the entertainment iceberg. Chances are you'll find at least two bigger-label acts per week. Besides offering the best in up-and-comers, the folk over on James Street also bow to cool old-schoolers. England's legendary punks the Business stopped in twice and wowed a capacity crowd, and New York's Toasters, the current leaders of the new ska trend, also came in to blow the roof off. Nineteen ninety-nine promises to be just as good, so you may want to head down and check it out, because the Espresso Bar continues to prove that the kids are alright.

Espresso Bar, 70 James Street, Worcester, 770-1455

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